An intro from Candace

Hi Everyone!! I'm finally here. Since I am not the computer savvy one and Andrea is she has to poke me a few times to get me started! I am so glad that we have the opportunity to share with you our journey as it unfolds. It has already been quite a ride! As Andrea said we met online back in October. Much like her, I knew right away that she was the person that I was looking for. I truly was attracted to the base of what she has said about herself and her beliefs and then when we began communicating further I was sure that we were a great match. I love that we are both so health conscious and similar in our outlook. It gives me such a great feeling to know that I can just trust her choices. That was the biggest thing for me. There are many stories of surrogacies where the IM is a bit controlling or micromanages the surrogate. That is so not me that I felt it so important to trust my surrogates judgement so that we would both be free and comfortable. I couldn't have found a better person to help Alex and I become a larger family!! Love you babe!

To make a sad story short, the reason that Alex and I turned to surrogacy surrounds a 5 year struggle with infertility and losses. I do have a beautiful 10 year old daughter, Abby, who is from my first marriage. Alex has no biological children, although he makes the best step dad ever! Abby was born at 31 weeks following a pregnancy complicated by pre-eclampsia and resulting pre term labor. I had an emergency section and several cuts which left me with a lot of scar tissue and related fertility issues later, including a blocked left tube. Alex and I were married in February 2003 and had the most beautiful winter wedding ever. But I digress...when we began trying for a sibling for Abby we quickly knew we would be in for a long road. I had several early losses over the years (3 of them) and we finally got pregnant with a strong pregnancy in 2005. I had a SCH that scared us every few weeks with a sudden bleed but still all looked good with the baby. My level two ultrasound revealed that all was well and we were having a boy!

A beautiful sunny Sunday in October 2005 my family was gathered at my parents home on Lake George. I was 20 weeks pregnant. Mid-afternoon I began feeling strange and was going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. I felt a lot of pressure and I gave ALex and my mother a look that told them to put me in the car and go to the nearest hospital. By the time we got halfway there I was having contractions that were 1-2 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds each. Once in a bed on the labor and delivery floor they hooked me up and we heard a perfect heartbeat for the baby. Then my water broke in a huge gush. The nurse just looked at me and disconnected the monitor so that we would not be able to hear the heartbeat slowly fade. There was nothing they could do. I labored for the night and did not seem to progress. I felt a final surge of pain and then everything subsided. I felt a final move of the baby and then everything subsided. In the morning when the doctor checked me he discovered that I had delivered at some point the previous evening and the baby was sitting in the vainal canal. He retrieved Marcus and we were able to spend a few hours with him. My family was also able to see him. Because it had been so long since I actually delivered him through the uterus, my uterus and cervix began to close and tighten back up. They were then unable to retrieve the placenta. They spent the entire day working on it and brought me into surgery to no avail. It was decided that I would be discharged from this small hospital and sent to my doctor in Albany to the larger hospital. When I got there she was shocked to see my condition and what they had done to me. She was able to put me under again and retreive the placenta, which allowed me to avoid a full hysterectomy. Unfortunately, the previous efforts had resulted in the loss of a large piece of my cervix.

So, here we were recovering from the physical and emotional loss and deciding what to do next. Although Alex was ready to turn to surrogacy sooner it took me a full year to accept it with open arms and move through the feelings of loss for myself not trying again and the feelings that my body failed us. I am really glad that I took that full year because when I embraced surrogacy I did it with no emotional regrets or complications and it has allowed Andrea and I to bond and move forward with no negative emotions.

Did I say it would be a short story lol?!

I am feeling better today but going for a CT scan regardless. It can't hurt to rule anything out and they assured me that it won't hurt my eggs!!